New York City

Your the best city is the
world, nowhere else can
ever compare.

People from all over the
world. No one seems to
care or stare.

You can be who you are,
it doesn't matter
what you wear.

They envy you and respect
you. They should all be
like you.

You're unique and
colorful and fascinating.
Thats the true beauty
right there.

Ralph

I understand what addiction must be like. When it came to you, I could never get enough and always wanted more. I liked you for so fucking long & for so many years. That day at work when you asked for my number, I couldn't say no. You knew I wasn't going to say no. You called a couple of days later & I meet you for drinks. You told me your marriage was over. I still can't believe how fucking stupid I was. I actually felt bad for you. I would talk to you for hours on the phone. I would drop everything to go and meet you. I really fucking believed in my mind that there was no man more perfect than you. Why the fuck did I have to be so attracted to you ? You were so damn good looking. You were tall and built and dark. After we slept together I knew there was no turning back. Your such a fucking prick. You knew how I felt about you. I wasted two years of my life. I wasn't feeling well and went to the doctor. I found out that I had an ectopic pregnancy. They removed one of my Fallopian tubes & I spent a week in the hospital. I know you felt bad and I know you did love me. The thing is though that your disgusting, pathetic and a poor excuse for a man. I lent you money and found out you started seeing other women. You slept with some bitch from our job and even got back together with your wife. I didn't quit my job for a better opportunity. I quit my job to get away from you and your fucking harem. You hurt me more than you will ever know. I stopped taking your calls because I couldn't put myself through this anymore. I beat myself up over this for years. I can't believe I allowed myself to get involved with you. All these years later I'm still afraid of getting into a relationship. I wish you knew the pain I've been through. I should have cursed your ass out. I love you because we almost had a child together, but I hate you for how much you hurt me. I moved on with my life & I know I deserve better. I heard you moved to the south. Your probably fucking everything with a pulse down there. I hope you get your shit together some day. Until then if I never see you again it will be to fucking soon.

Ava

I always thought adults do
everything for a child. Its because
of you I now know what a child
does for us.

A teenager myself when your
older cousins were born
I loved them, played with them
and was crazy about them.

You were born years later.
I'm older now and I guess
its because now I understand
the delicacy of life.

You have brought more joy
and happiness then I could
ever tell you. I thank God
for you everyday.

There is no better sound than
waking up in the morning and
hearing your giggling in the
next room.

When Gram was sick I always
wanted to cry. It was you that
made me laugh and realize life
must go on.

Your smart, talented and so
pretty. Your fun and funny
and wonderful. Thank you for
letting me be your Aunt.

Remembering

I remember the happiness
I remember the sadness
I remember the life
I remember the death
I remember the faith
I remember the doubt
I remember the excitement
I remember the boredom
I remember the black and white
I remember the shades of grey
I remember the innocence
I remember the corruption
I remember the friends
I remember the enemies
I remember the warmth
I remember the coldness
I remember the laughter
I remember the crying
I remember the pleasure
I remember the pain
I remember the truth
I remember the lies
I remember dignity
I remember the self degradation
I remember the sounds
I remember the silience
I remember the love
I remember the hate
I remember the courage
I remember the fear
I remember the calm
I remember the storm
I remember the denial
I remember the acceptance
I remember the beauty
I remember the ugliness
I remember the light
I remember the darkness
I remember the aroma
I remember the stench
I remember the trust
I remember the betrayal
I remember the clarity
I remember the distortion
I remember the body & mind
I remember the soul
I remember the confidence
I remember the inadequency
I remember the brave
I remember the coward
I remember the ease
I remember the difficult
I remember the strength
I remember the weakness
I remember the surprise
I remember the predictable
I remember the deep
I remember the shallow
I remember the curiousity
I remember the contentment
I remember the fresh
I remember the stale
I remember the real
I remember the superficial
I remember the envy
I remember the jealousy
I remember the pure
I remember the tainted
I remember the whole
I remember the broken
I remember the polished
I remember the tarnished

At first sight !

It was the the summer of 96'. My friend and I were driving aimlessly around the neighborhood. We were in my grandmothers old silver cutlass ciera she had recently given to me. Those days we spent most of our time burning gas and blasting music. It happened when we were on our way back to my house for lunch. I saw him walk out of the convenience store on the corner. I had to stop the car...I couldn't move....I could barely breathe. He was tall with jet black hair and dark tanned skinned. He had on a fitted white Tshirt and Levis jeans. It was obvious his job was physical and something outdoors. He was lean and his arms were muscular. He lite a cigarette and took a few drags. He then got into a shiny buick regal and drove off toward the blaring sun of that August afternoon. I thought about him for weeks and gave up ever seeing him again. Until, that party that night. I walked in and there he was.

One Love :)

Its the Beautiful People
Its the White Sandy Beaches
Its the Sweetest Mangos
Its the Overproofed Rum
Its the Jerk Chicken and pork
Its the Water Falls
Its the views of the countryside
Its the Reggae Music
Its the Coconut Water
Its the hotels on the beach
Its the Blue mountain coffee
Its the dancing & nightlife
Its the Red Strip Beer

My 30's !!!

My twenties are over
My thirties half through
Now what the hell am I
going to do ?

Three chin hairs to pluck
Some spider veins to hide
Grey hairs to get dyed

No longer smoking
or a size 5 !
Gained 50 pounds to
put this addiction aside

Took my first mammogram,
at my doctors advice
Just wish that damn machine,
could have been more nice

With age comes wisdom
Now, I got that !
Hope I'll never fall into
another of lifes traps

Have to stop all this thinking,
but wait is that my biological
clock ticking ??

Despite all of this,
My life is not done
I have a feeling my forties ,
are going to be fun !